Have you ever met a mom that works a job? I’m sure your probably saying, “yes duhh” because most moms do! Believe it or not in the midst of our pandemic, in 2020, 79.7% of mothers worked a full time job, and I’m proud to say that I am in that number (BLS, 2021). I’ve been a working mom from start to present, and I’ve been exposed to different work environments, employers, and systems. I’ve come to learn that there is nothingggggggg and no job that compares to the job of a MOM. Yes, I said it. It’s the job that you can never clock out from! Mothers are undermined, discriminated against at work while back at home they are trying to find balance and peace.
I learned very early on what my standards were for myself as a mother (because we moms are often different in our methods)! I am the overly present mama, meaning I’m there for every school play, parent teacher conference, play date, I sleep over at the sleep overs, and my children tag along with me to the gym and so on. Anyone who knows me personally knows I’m always with my kids. Yes, it’s aggravating sometime, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I learned that that’s the type of parent I am when Imry (my first daughter) was just about 7 months old and I was working at Harrah's Casino. One day I had to work and Imry was at daycare, but that day was a special day there because parents were welcome to attend an event to enjoy food and games with their little ones. At first I didn’t think much of it, because you know I was still new to the mom thing (didn’t really know what was important and what was important yet). So I didn’t take off of work, but I went to work with the intentions that if we weren’t to busy then I would go pass by my daughter's school event. I spoke with my supervisor while they were making their rounds and I let them know “Hey, my baby has something at her daycare today so if we let people go early today please put my name on the list of people willing to go home.” They agreed. A few hours go by and looks like nobody’s going home early so I didn’t bring it back up. Then it’s clock out time and I’m heading out quickly to go pick my baby up. As I’m leaving my supervisor is walking out with me and asks “why you moving so fast?” I responded, “I have to get to my baby. You know they had an event today.” She said “Oh yeah, you did say that, I didn’t know you were serious when you asked to leave.” I nodded and waved and headed out the door. Those words never left my mind though, because why would I not be serious about something like that?
Today, I decided to come to you guys and speak from experience as well as fact when I tell you frankly that moms are treated so shitty in these workplaces! Jobs expect you to choose between your children and a pay check. The audacity of them to hang your lively hood over your head like you can just wake up and choose not be a mom any more. I’m saying you can, but then society will drag your name through the mud for it! Anyways, to me I feel that it should be unethical for a workplace to even speak on or consider the fact that you have children when it comes to your capability of doing a job. Literally, “23% of working parents say they’ve been treated as if they aren’t committed to their work because they have kids." (AAUW, 2020). That is completely absurd.
You mean to tell me just because one has chosen to bring new life to this earth that means that all of a sudden I’m not committed to my work? The real problem is not that we aren’t committed it’s that employers expect to come first and they know they can’t compete when there is child in that number one spot. The audacity of them to think they should be put before our children when they are willing to replace us with someone with less “responsibility” with the quickness. They penalize you when you have to make the decisions to care for your kids over handling business. It’s out right discrimination to say the least! These situations are exactly why about 61% of mothers with at least one child ages 6 and under (and 46% of mothers with children older than 6) experience joblessness due to child care reasons (BLS, 2021). For the listed heartaches placed on those who hold the title of mother, even fathers, is exactly why opportunities are skipped out on. We, parents, are not skipping out on them because we can’t do them. We are skipping out because we know that there is no fair space made for those of us who make the impossible possible day in and day out to raise yet another being who will one day possibly succumb to this impossible workforce.
This post is for all the parents that have ever felt discriminated against, pressured, and insulted by those who could be supporting us but would rather make our lives just that much harder.
You are not alone.
This post is to inform the public being somebody's mama and somebody else's employee is hard.
You are not alone.
This post is to reassure you that YOU are bomb as hell and are doing a great job raising them kids. So here are your flowers mama.
Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). 2021, Apr 21. Employment Characteristics and Families-2020. Web. https://www.bls.gov/news.release/pdf/famee.pdf
American Association of University Women (AAUW). 2020. Fast Facts:Mothers in the Workforce. Web. https://www.aauw.org/resources/article/fast-facts-working-moms/